The Benefits of Marrying in your 30's

Another late night blog. I realize that this can be a little dangerous, but oh well!!!

Tonight, I attended the wedding of a good friend of mine. As with most of my friends these days, she's in her early thirties and is now taking the plunge. Congrats! Now, let's get down to the business of this blog. It's no secret that most girls go through what I call the "Freshman Fantasy" in college. You have this awesome time your first two years of school, meet someone your junior year, fall insanely in love, get engaged at Christmas of your senior year, and get married the day after graduation. At your wedding, since all of the guests are college kids, you dance late into the night, the party is rockin', and you ride off into the night on a cloud of almost cosmic idealism - nothing seems to be able to top it. Unfortunately, most of the girls that actually end up in this situation are, through the foggy lenses of jealousy, annoyingly perfect, along with their to-be husbands. We secretly think, "this just isn't fair", but stoically move forward and, almost by force, become singletons out there in this big world.

If you're an evangelical Christian like yours truly, if you're single 2 days after graduation, you must graduate to the singles sunday school class at your church. If you're lucky, this class is actually filled with people your age, and not a hodge-podge of everyone at your church that happens not to be married, including that kind of odd guy in his fifties (don't even try to judge - you know its true). Anyway, no matter what situation you find yourself in, hopefully you make the best of it and waiver on a continuum involving being totally peaceful and content with your situation on one side and being in a complete state of irrational despair on the other (insert additional guilt from not trusting God here).

I don't really know where I'm going with this, except to say that I've been a singleton for almost 6 years and one of my "superficial, yet important to me anyway" prayers has been that I would be married before I hit 30. Now I'm 28 and change and 30 doesn't seem that far off, so I think it's time to look up and out, and point out all of the fabulous things about marrying in your 30's. (Disclaimer: Yes, this blog is meant to be poignant and yet funny - if you find yourself being picked on somewhere in this list, I recommend laughing over offense.)

BENEFITS OF MARRYING/HAVING A WEDDING IN MY THIRTIES:

1) I get to wait a little longer before I become domesticated and start pumping out the cute little kidos. My mom is still waiting patiently.....sometimes I feel like a pot of boiling water...
2) I don't have to register for measuring cups and pots - I've already got those....we're going for the expresso machine, baby.
3) I'll hopefully know myself better, which will allow me to be a better bride and a better friend to my husband. Of course, right now me scares me, so that might backfire.
4) I'll have more realistic expectations - for example, couples fight. Since I'll already know this, I can just look forward to making up.
5) Our wedding will most likely be smaller, but more intimate and personal, just like they do in Vegas.
6) Sex. Like fine red wine, I (hopefully) get better with age. Unfortunately, its a little hard to do a comparison, but hey.
7) No pressure to have a high energy reception. I'll have whatever kind of reception I want, knowing full well that all the low energy and/or domesticated people will leave early, regardless of what's going on. Only the strong survive!
8) I'll be past the phase where I'm embarrassed at my lingerie shower or have to ask someone what some of the items are.
9) When my friends ask me about my honeymoon, I'll know that they really are asking about the trip, and that they won't burst into nervous "you had sex and now everyone knows it" giggles.
10) Bridget Jones' Diary will have actual, bonified meaning in my life, and that in itself makes this sweet time a little more worth it. If you've never ever feared choking on a peice of pepperoni pizza alone in your apartment and then being found three days later, half eaten by wild dogs, you just wouldn't understand.